Sunday, November 08, 2009
Singing In Singapore
I am still not sure I really truly believe I am here...In Singapore...with my sister and her family. What a blessing and what a joy to see them for the first time and each morning when we wake up...there they are....the departure will be bittersweet though...not thinking of that just yet.
We have seen some places and bought some things and eaten LOTS of different foods and tasted some incredibly yummy and totally disgusting things....(keep on laughing Anna).
Our stay has been catered to by Andrea and she has thought of everything. She even had an umbrella, a coin purse and a bus card AS WELL AS a cell phone for us to use in an emergency....WOW! She's been amazing....
Let me just say that if you are a guest in this house, there will be nothing lacking! Can you say big flat screen tv...2 air cons, and a fully stocked (with our fav beverages) fridge?!!!!
Andrea and Tommy have done everything possible to make things easy for us and they have driven us around as much as possible to help with our feet problems...I know that they are missing out on some alone time but I can't say that I'm sad...haha I'm loving this... I am really enjoying the place, the people, the food (well some of it) and the atmosphere. Here, things are much different but they are all the same at the same time.... just different...
There are many cultures living on this island and they have all seemed to find a way to work out their differences and exist together in the space allowed... Even in the hawker centres, there are dozens of similar and vastly different food stalls just waiting to serve you....begging sometimes...to serve you. I love this...
Well, as to the title of this blog....I was outside late one evening, about 9pm here, and was just looking up amazed that there were no stars, when all of a sudden one appeared. It was the only one I could see but I loved it. I genuinely loved it.
To me, the stars represent Gods gift of life for us. There are as many of us as there are stars...etc...
When I am at home, in my yard, in the dark, there are billions of them just smiling at me and it is at those times, that words come to me....many of my poems begin just standing under the night sky and loving that God chose to display them for me. (not just me, but you know what I mean).
Sometimes, while I'm standing there, I will just start singing a poem, a song, a lyric that comes to me in the moment. I love this. God uses my willingness to love what he has created to teach me, to show me to love me!
So, the other night..haha I was outside on the front porch of Andrea's home when I just began to sing. The first thing I realized besides that I was singing, was that I was looking at ONE star, in the big sky it was all I could see. The second thing was, a wondering if Paul could see the same star (I know better, but it came to me that way). The last thing was that HE, God, could still see me wherever I was, no matter what, no matter where, I was visible to Him. This made me smile and I sang more! haha Not that what I'd be saying could really be considered a song but it was from my heart and was meaningful to me...and maybe to God, not sure about that.
I was wondering if He could feel my love, feel my heart, hear my song.
Weird blog, but it is what it is...
I WAS SINGING IN SINGAPORE!!!
Wish you were singing here with me!
We have seen some places and bought some things and eaten LOTS of different foods and tasted some incredibly yummy and totally disgusting things....(keep on laughing Anna).
Our stay has been catered to by Andrea and she has thought of everything. She even had an umbrella, a coin purse and a bus card AS WELL AS a cell phone for us to use in an emergency....WOW! She's been amazing....
Let me just say that if you are a guest in this house, there will be nothing lacking! Can you say big flat screen tv...2 air cons, and a fully stocked (with our fav beverages) fridge?!!!!
Andrea and Tommy have done everything possible to make things easy for us and they have driven us around as much as possible to help with our feet problems...I know that they are missing out on some alone time but I can't say that I'm sad...haha I'm loving this... I am really enjoying the place, the people, the food (well some of it) and the atmosphere. Here, things are much different but they are all the same at the same time.... just different...
There are many cultures living on this island and they have all seemed to find a way to work out their differences and exist together in the space allowed... Even in the hawker centres, there are dozens of similar and vastly different food stalls just waiting to serve you....begging sometimes...to serve you. I love this...
Well, as to the title of this blog....I was outside late one evening, about 9pm here, and was just looking up amazed that there were no stars, when all of a sudden one appeared. It was the only one I could see but I loved it. I genuinely loved it.
To me, the stars represent Gods gift of life for us. There are as many of us as there are stars...etc...
When I am at home, in my yard, in the dark, there are billions of them just smiling at me and it is at those times, that words come to me....many of my poems begin just standing under the night sky and loving that God chose to display them for me. (not just me, but you know what I mean).
Sometimes, while I'm standing there, I will just start singing a poem, a song, a lyric that comes to me in the moment. I love this. God uses my willingness to love what he has created to teach me, to show me to love me!
So, the other night..haha I was outside on the front porch of Andrea's home when I just began to sing. The first thing I realized besides that I was singing, was that I was looking at ONE star, in the big sky it was all I could see. The second thing was, a wondering if Paul could see the same star (I know better, but it came to me that way). The last thing was that HE, God, could still see me wherever I was, no matter what, no matter where, I was visible to Him. This made me smile and I sang more! haha Not that what I'd be saying could really be considered a song but it was from my heart and was meaningful to me...and maybe to God, not sure about that.
I was wondering if He could feel my love, feel my heart, hear my song.
Weird blog, but it is what it is...
I WAS SINGING IN SINGAPORE!!!
Wish you were singing here with me!
Monday, October 19, 2009
When God Answers
There are always going to be those that do not believe in prayer, or do not believe in the fact that God does answer them.
I believe with a passion that God answers every one of them...In HIS TIME!
I pray all the time. I pray while I'm eating, driving, shaving (sometimes I actually pray that I can see my legs to shave them)!. I pray while I'm alone, with others, with my daughter, and at church. I pray when I'm hurting, laughing, crying, sneezing (this one is to not crack ribs), and I pray while I'm writing. I pray all day. It's as if I am carrying on a conversation with Him that goes on all day...sort of like an "Instant Message box"....
I pray for health, healing, safety, needs and most of all for my loved ones. I pray for their lives to be blessed and that they are healthy and happy. I pray for my own too. I pray for the ability to love others as He loves them. This is something I learned from a dear friend who was trying to make her marriage work... She finally realized that though she loved her husband, she needed to love him as God loves him. That is a difficult thing to do if you really sit back and think about it.
I have been trying to love all others as God loves them. Sometimes it is just not meant to be... you may try and try but the feelings are impossible to muster.
When God answers a prayer, it might not be what you expected, what you wanted, or even what you asked for...He answers in a way that the end result is for His plans for you/me. His answer might not become apparent for a very long time, but I feel that this is His way of teaching us patience, as well as the lesson of being faithful.
When God answers prayer, the response might be physical, heart felt, and even a hard knock upside the head...(I prefer these replies to my prayer since I am just a bit hard headed...at times). He might answer out loud even, or just whisper his response to you from the Holy Spirit that lives inside of you.
When God answers prayer, it is up to us to choose to accept the reply or ignore it. What we pray for and what we expect the answer to be, might just turn out to be something totally unlike anything we were thinking of when we prayed.
When God answers my prayers, I know that I have been blessed beyond measure and I accept that I have a new direction on that particular prayer request...and I love sharing my replies with my daughter..
When God answers my prayers, I enjoy telling others so that they can see that I truly believe, and that I am willing to hear...but sometimes my ears get plugged up with every day wax/junk, and I do not hear/see or feel the answer. Sometimes it might even be longer time periods between the prayer and the answer...days, weeks, months or even years...
When God answers my prayers, I pray again...I pray a prayer of thanks for the always hearing me part...when sometimes others can't hear me, He does.
Like the George Strait song says, be careful what you ask for cuz sometimes you get it.
Be careful what you pray for, and don't be foolish with your prayers. You may not see the answer coming but you'll know that it has been answered when the time is right.
side note: I have been praying for months that God would bless my business so that I could take my trip with my mother across the world to see my sister and her family. Finances have been difficult for us lately so I've been all stressed about how I'd pay for the plane ticket, the meals, souviniers, and just about everything. I have prayed for the money, my health, my moms health and so much more.
God is answering these prayers abundantly. I have remained healthy for the last 2 weeks, I've not been sick from my med-pump in almost 2 weeks, and other than my feet, Im pretty sure I've prayed for just about everything else that this trip will entail too, such as the airports, the plane trip, the airports, our luggage, our carry ons...etc and etc...my list is enormous. I have begun to physically see His answers each day as the trip draws near. I know that I am truly blessed.
Here is my prayer for you this day,
Father God, Thank you for showing me that my prayers are heard. Thank you for not only hearing them but answering them. Thank you Father for being my sounding board, my champion, my friend. Father, thank you for my family, my parents, my husband and my children, without whom I would crumble at your feet. Thank you for my friends, who bless my life daily, thank you for my business and the ability you have given me to use for it. Thank you for my church, my small group and all those I come in contact with throughout my life.
Father, I ask you to bless my family, my friends and those who might read this as well as those who will never see it. I pray you heal those who are ailing and touch those who do not know you or know to ask you for your help. I pray for all the ones that I will intrust my moms life and mine as we travel across the globe to new lands that are also created by you. I pray that you will show me new ways to glorify you while living in a different world than my own. I pray you allow me to see things through your eyes, the eyes of love and hope.
I ask that you deliver us safely to and from our family with new hearts filled with a passion to love you and to love others as you do.
In Jesus name, Amen
I believe with a passion that God answers every one of them...In HIS TIME!
I pray all the time. I pray while I'm eating, driving, shaving (sometimes I actually pray that I can see my legs to shave them)!. I pray while I'm alone, with others, with my daughter, and at church. I pray when I'm hurting, laughing, crying, sneezing (this one is to not crack ribs), and I pray while I'm writing. I pray all day. It's as if I am carrying on a conversation with Him that goes on all day...sort of like an "Instant Message box"....
I pray for health, healing, safety, needs and most of all for my loved ones. I pray for their lives to be blessed and that they are healthy and happy. I pray for my own too. I pray for the ability to love others as He loves them. This is something I learned from a dear friend who was trying to make her marriage work... She finally realized that though she loved her husband, she needed to love him as God loves him. That is a difficult thing to do if you really sit back and think about it.
I have been trying to love all others as God loves them. Sometimes it is just not meant to be... you may try and try but the feelings are impossible to muster.
When God answers a prayer, it might not be what you expected, what you wanted, or even what you asked for...He answers in a way that the end result is for His plans for you/me. His answer might not become apparent for a very long time, but I feel that this is His way of teaching us patience, as well as the lesson of being faithful.
When God answers prayer, the response might be physical, heart felt, and even a hard knock upside the head...(I prefer these replies to my prayer since I am just a bit hard headed...at times). He might answer out loud even, or just whisper his response to you from the Holy Spirit that lives inside of you.
When God answers prayer, it is up to us to choose to accept the reply or ignore it. What we pray for and what we expect the answer to be, might just turn out to be something totally unlike anything we were thinking of when we prayed.
When God answers my prayers, I know that I have been blessed beyond measure and I accept that I have a new direction on that particular prayer request...and I love sharing my replies with my daughter..
When God answers my prayers, I enjoy telling others so that they can see that I truly believe, and that I am willing to hear...but sometimes my ears get plugged up with every day wax/junk, and I do not hear/see or feel the answer. Sometimes it might even be longer time periods between the prayer and the answer...days, weeks, months or even years...
When God answers my prayers, I pray again...I pray a prayer of thanks for the always hearing me part...when sometimes others can't hear me, He does.
Like the George Strait song says, be careful what you ask for cuz sometimes you get it.
Be careful what you pray for, and don't be foolish with your prayers. You may not see the answer coming but you'll know that it has been answered when the time is right.
side note: I have been praying for months that God would bless my business so that I could take my trip with my mother across the world to see my sister and her family. Finances have been difficult for us lately so I've been all stressed about how I'd pay for the plane ticket, the meals, souviniers, and just about everything. I have prayed for the money, my health, my moms health and so much more.
God is answering these prayers abundantly. I have remained healthy for the last 2 weeks, I've not been sick from my med-pump in almost 2 weeks, and other than my feet, Im pretty sure I've prayed for just about everything else that this trip will entail too, such as the airports, the plane trip, the airports, our luggage, our carry ons...etc and etc...my list is enormous. I have begun to physically see His answers each day as the trip draws near. I know that I am truly blessed.
Here is my prayer for you this day,
Father God, Thank you for showing me that my prayers are heard. Thank you for not only hearing them but answering them. Thank you Father for being my sounding board, my champion, my friend. Father, thank you for my family, my parents, my husband and my children, without whom I would crumble at your feet. Thank you for my friends, who bless my life daily, thank you for my business and the ability you have given me to use for it. Thank you for my church, my small group and all those I come in contact with throughout my life.
Father, I ask you to bless my family, my friends and those who might read this as well as those who will never see it. I pray you heal those who are ailing and touch those who do not know you or know to ask you for your help. I pray for all the ones that I will intrust my moms life and mine as we travel across the globe to new lands that are also created by you. I pray that you will show me new ways to glorify you while living in a different world than my own. I pray you allow me to see things through your eyes, the eyes of love and hope.
I ask that you deliver us safely to and from our family with new hearts filled with a passion to love you and to love others as you do.
In Jesus name, Amen
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I AM A WILLOW
I watched the willow bend and weep
It’s sorrow deep and dark
I watched it bend low to the ground
And saw the cracking bark
I watched the tree lean down so low
As if to lay a spell
I watched it listing to and fro
That tree I know so well
I watched the willow almost broken
It’s heart so filled with pain
It’s leaves could almost touch the water
As I watched it bending even lower
I watched the willow that seemed to call
Out from it’s lonely hell
I watched it laying there so sad
That tree I know so well
I watched the willow begin to rise
It’s leaves began to rustle
I watched it raise it’s precious head
And saw it use it’s awesome muscle
I watched the willow stand in place
It’s head raised straight to God
I watched it smile as if to say
Twas saved by His amazing grace
That tree I know today.
Colleen Easley Cooper ©8-17-09
It’s sorrow deep and dark
I watched it bend low to the ground
And saw the cracking bark
I watched the tree lean down so low
As if to lay a spell
I watched it listing to and fro
That tree I know so well
I watched the willow almost broken
It’s heart so filled with pain
It’s leaves could almost touch the water
As I watched it bending even lower
I watched the willow that seemed to call
Out from it’s lonely hell
I watched it laying there so sad
That tree I know so well
I watched the willow begin to rise
It’s leaves began to rustle
I watched it raise it’s precious head
And saw it use it’s awesome muscle
I watched the willow stand in place
It’s head raised straight to God
I watched it smile as if to say
Twas saved by His amazing grace
That tree I know today.
Colleen Easley Cooper ©8-17-09
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
In Memory of a dimpled boy
In loving honor of
Ethan Chery Michael McCormick
4-14-1991 to 4-11-2009
A BITTER LOVE
A LOVE UNSEEN
BEGAN ONE DAY
BEGAN ONE DAY
AMIDST SOME POEMS
AND MYSPACE PLAY
A LOVE UNKNOWN
TOO SOON WOULD BE
A PART OF LIFE
A PART OF ME
A PART OF LIFE
A PART OF ME
A LOVE SO YOUNG
LIVING QUICKLY
MEETING MANY
LIVING QUICKLY
MEETING MANY
MY DIMPLED BOY
A LOVE SO STRONG
GIVEN NOT LIGHTLY
A BROTHERS BOND
A BROTHERS BOND
TO ONE OF MANY
A LOVE DEEPENED
WITH WORDS UNFOLD
WITH WORDS UNFOLD
WHAT WONDER AHEAD
AND TALES UNTOLD
A LOVE MATURED
BEYOND IT'S YEAR
BEYOND IT'S YEAR
SHIDING BEHIND
LAUGHTERS COLD TEARS
LAUGHTERS COLD TEARS
A LOVE DENIED
TO ONE SO YOUNG
DARKNESS LEAVING
NO SONG UNSUNG
DARKNESS LEAVING
NO SONG UNSUNG
A LOVE I FELTRIGHT
FROM THE START
WITH ALL MY SOUL
AND ALL MY HEART
WITH ALL MY SOUL
AND ALL MY HEART
A LOVE FOR YOU
ETHAN MY DEAR
MY HEART HEARD YOU
WHISPER IN MY EAR
ETHAN MY DEAR
MY HEART HEARD YOU
WHISPER IN MY EAR
A LOVE SHORT LIVED
DENIED BY DEATH
UNTIL IT TOOK
HIS FINAL BREATH
DENIED BY DEATH
UNTIL IT TOOK
HIS FINAL BREATH
A BITTER LOVE
CUT SHORT TOO SOON
I'LL LAUGH FOR YOU
AND WATCH THE MOON
CUT SHORT TOO SOON
I'LL LAUGH FOR YOU
AND WATCH THE MOON
A LOVE SO TRUE
GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
ETERNAL LIFE
AND HEALTH ENSUE
A LOVE DIVINE
GOD'S GIFT TO YOU
ETERNAL LIFE
AND HEALTH ENSUE
A LOVE DIVINE
AS YOU STAND TALL
AND LAUGH YOURSELF
OFF HEAVENS WALL
AND LAUGH YOURSELF
OFF HEAVENS WALL
Ethan, I met you, and I quickly grew to love you, and I will carry you always in my heart right beside Ian.
You keep laughing….”to infinity and beyond”!....
I am blessed to have known you, to have shared part of your life and to have been your friend. I was shown many blessings and taught something by you, even so young, you gave me hope many times. I can only hope and pray that I, if even only for a mere moment, showed you what a mother’s love feels like, because with you, I was able to feel what being a mother of a teen aged boy felt like! And I chery’sh that! Rest in peace my “adopted” son. You will be missed and you have carried another piece of my heart away with you. When I feel it missing, I will smile and share a joke with someone for you.....
©Colleen Cooper 4-14-2009....
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
LIFE GIVES AND LIFE TAKES AWAY
I SEE CLEARLY MOST OF THE DAY
WHEN LIFE IS HARD AND JUST NOT RIGHT
I CANT SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
WHEN THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SHOULD BE
WHEN TROUBLED TIMES COME CALLING
IN THOSE TIMES OF SORROW AND GRIEF
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
FATE SEALS NOT THE SANDS OF TIME
THE FATHER ABOVE IS REASON AND RHYME
WHEN DARKNESS FALLS UPON BEATING HEARTS
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
THE LOSS OF FRIEND OR FAMILY DEAR
OF A GENTLE SOUL PASSING, WE NOW HEAR
THE OLD SHOULD NOT OUTLIVE THE YOUNG
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
MY BOYS HAVE GONE BUT LIVED THEIR SEASON
FOR THEIR YOUTHFUL DEMISE I CAN FIND NO REASON
THEIR JOB FOR THE KINGDOM NOW COMPLETE
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
WITH CLOUDED THOUGHTS AND TEAR STREAKED CHEEKS
THE BROTHERS WILL YET MOURN FOR WEEKS
THE SISTERS LOVE WILL CARRY THEM THROUGH
I CAN’T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
©Colleen Easley Cooper 4-14-09
Monday, March 16, 2009
UnCommon Uses For WD-40
I am looking for a couple more uses but here is the list of the uncommon uses for WD-40 that I have found work wonders...if done correctly!
5. If you spray the door to your toaster oven, no one will know that you are heating up your 3rd corndog...
4. Using the miniscule toothpick straw that comes taped to the side of the can, (if it's still there...if not, search under your sink where you keep the can, it's usually laying at the back of the cabinet), and then go to the faucet knob that your hubby won't put the new washer on and spray the heck out of it. Eventually it will turn easier and your young children will be able once again to wash their hands after using the bathroom! They might even brush their teeth somewhere besides the kitchen sink!
3. If you have no doggie door, spray the entire length of the screen door that doesn't latch and don't forget to spray the little hydraulic "closer" thing too so that if you leave the kitchen door open, the dogs can come and go using the big "human door" as their very own.
2. WD-40 will work on blue jean zippers that are stuck....however.....I reccommend that you remove them from yourself prior to spraying the zipper (using the little toothpick straw thing), as it does tend to stain your bed covers if you are laying down trying to zip the pants over an area too large to fit into them. This, however, is just a suggestion....not saying I've ever done it myself....
AND THE #1 UNCOMMON USE FOR WD-40.........drum roll please......
1. Well, I really can't think of any more, so send me your suggestions and we'll go from there......
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Soul Freedom
While responding to a friend of mine in a comment on her blog...this thought went through my mind.
"When I write, I am freeing my soul. Does my freedom touch anyone else's soul"?
I often find myself writing about things that might only mean something to myself. I am sure that no one reads them (for the most part) and that's ok. I am writing about things that mean something to me and might not mean a thing to anyone else. But, then I might wonder, if someone else read it, would it mean something to them? Would this "soul release", have an impact on them? Probably not. But to ponder on it is quite interesting.
I write a lot of silly blogs on Myspace and even a few on here, but this is my "resting place"! The place I can sit, think, pray and just let go of my feelings, if only for a short time. I like that. It's like I know that no matter how anything else goes, God is here waiting for me as if I have an appointment with him at a certain time. Not that I am on here at any certain time, but I talk to him about things going on, things that I know will happen and things that have already happened.
It's almost refreshing to let some of them go and free my mind of some of the clutter that fills the empty space. I know, I know, it's not all empty. How else would I know when to sing, shout, eat, sleep....etc....haha
Anyway, freeing the soul takes little effort for me. Does that mean that I'm shallow? Nah, just easy to read and easy to anticipate. I like me. Not too many people actually like themselves but I do. That does not mean I am satisfied with how/who/what/where I am, just that I like me.
I wish I were smarter, I wish I were thinner, I wish I were healthier, I wish I was organized, etc. See what I mean....but...
on the flip side
I am determined, I am big hearted, I am creative, I am loved, I am lovable, I am...
....A work in progress...
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I suppose I'd like to be....
A grown up! lol
I'd like to be able to look back and say, "Gee, I did that", or "Wow, look what I've left behind", or "I hope I did good for those that did good for me"!
Boy, do I get sideways or what...
When I write, it could be in poetry form, short stories, just plain ole blogs, and sometimes in form of a prayer. Either way, is that not in a fashion, "freeing ones soul"....not the exact same as baring ones soul, because I hide much more than most realize.
I try not to show my fears, my hurts, my concerns, my disappointments and my sorrows. I try to only let others see, my joys, my laughter, my goofiness, my "good stuff"! The bad stuff is only for me and God. (And Paul...God love him)
I write to express what's going on inside my head and my heart. I write to remove things from those two places to make room for bigger and better and sometimes worse things to take their place. On that note, either way, they give me more to write about right?
I write to share myself, to put on paper (so to speak), what I need someone else to know or even somethings that I need to pay attention to myself. I try very hard not to reccommend to others, something I would not do myself.
I write to free my soul.
I write to share my soul.
I feel like my soul is worth knowing.
I feel like letting others in every now and then.
I feel like letting go of somethings.
I feel release.
I write to enjoy my words.
I write to play with words.
I write to put my thoughts out for anyone to see.
I write to shock people.
I write to relieve my stress.
I write to have fun.
I write to entertain.
I write to find joy.
I "free my soul" to share it with others.
Freeing my soul may not do anything for anyone, but I hope that somewhere, someone would read my soul and maybe it might touch theirs.
I write to be alone with my thoughts.
I write to share my thoughts.
I write to meet others.
I write to live life.
I write just to write!
So, sit down, blog your soul, see if this "freeing your soul" feels good to you. If it does, then share it with others and see if they are touched. (by your soul....not in the head like me!)
God bless,
"When I write, I am freeing my soul. Does my freedom touch anyone else's soul"?
I often find myself writing about things that might only mean something to myself. I am sure that no one reads them (for the most part) and that's ok. I am writing about things that mean something to me and might not mean a thing to anyone else. But, then I might wonder, if someone else read it, would it mean something to them? Would this "soul release", have an impact on them? Probably not. But to ponder on it is quite interesting.
I write a lot of silly blogs on Myspace and even a few on here, but this is my "resting place"! The place I can sit, think, pray and just let go of my feelings, if only for a short time. I like that. It's like I know that no matter how anything else goes, God is here waiting for me as if I have an appointment with him at a certain time. Not that I am on here at any certain time, but I talk to him about things going on, things that I know will happen and things that have already happened.
It's almost refreshing to let some of them go and free my mind of some of the clutter that fills the empty space. I know, I know, it's not all empty. How else would I know when to sing, shout, eat, sleep....etc....haha
Anyway, freeing the soul takes little effort for me. Does that mean that I'm shallow? Nah, just easy to read and easy to anticipate. I like me. Not too many people actually like themselves but I do. That does not mean I am satisfied with how/who/what/where I am, just that I like me.
I wish I were smarter, I wish I were thinner, I wish I were healthier, I wish I was organized, etc. See what I mean....but...
on the flip side
I am determined, I am big hearted, I am creative, I am loved, I am lovable, I am...
....A work in progress...
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I suppose I'd like to be....
A grown up! lol
I'd like to be able to look back and say, "Gee, I did that", or "Wow, look what I've left behind", or "I hope I did good for those that did good for me"!
Boy, do I get sideways or what...
When I write, it could be in poetry form, short stories, just plain ole blogs, and sometimes in form of a prayer. Either way, is that not in a fashion, "freeing ones soul"....not the exact same as baring ones soul, because I hide much more than most realize.
I try not to show my fears, my hurts, my concerns, my disappointments and my sorrows. I try to only let others see, my joys, my laughter, my goofiness, my "good stuff"! The bad stuff is only for me and God. (And Paul...God love him)
I write to express what's going on inside my head and my heart. I write to remove things from those two places to make room for bigger and better and sometimes worse things to take their place. On that note, either way, they give me more to write about right?
I write to share myself, to put on paper (so to speak), what I need someone else to know or even somethings that I need to pay attention to myself. I try very hard not to reccommend to others, something I would not do myself.
I write to free my soul.
I write to share my soul.
I feel like my soul is worth knowing.
I feel like letting others in every now and then.
I feel like letting go of somethings.
I feel release.
I write to enjoy my words.
I write to play with words.
I write to put my thoughts out for anyone to see.
I write to shock people.
I write to relieve my stress.
I write to have fun.
I write to entertain.
I write to find joy.
I "free my soul" to share it with others.
Freeing my soul may not do anything for anyone, but I hope that somewhere, someone would read my soul and maybe it might touch theirs.
I write to be alone with my thoughts.
I write to share my thoughts.
I write to meet others.
I write to live life.
I write just to write!
So, sit down, blog your soul, see if this "freeing your soul" feels good to you. If it does, then share it with others and see if they are touched. (by your soul....not in the head like me!)
God bless,
Friday, March 13, 2009
Love Stories
I once wondered if there were true love stories. You know, in real life. I have seen a few but I just realized that I have lived one myself.
Two actually!
The first is the story of a young stockboy at a local retail store that chose me over any others. Me, older, with a young child of my own. Struggling to pay bills, working 3 jobs to finish my college class.
Me, crazy, mixed up and lost...ME.
He chose me...Why? Did he know that we would endure hardships beyond belief? Did he know that he would have to support me through trial after trial? Did he know that we would be tested to the end of the lines that held our anchor? No, but he chose me anyway. Now, as we approach 22 years together, I am able to see that it was not what we chose, or thought, or had in mind. It was all in God's plan for each of us. I used to wonder if I'd married the right man. I wondered if I just wanted to get married and he was in the right place at the right time. I still sometimes have self doubting moments when satan tries to confuse me and I briefly allow the doubt to creep back in. Then, I remember that if it were not meant to be, we would not be. We would not have the relationship that we do.
As we get closer to the 22 yr mark, I look at the past years and pray that we have many more. That God chose the PERFECT mate for me. God's plans already knew what we would endure, what pains, and sacrifices, and losses we would suffer. He knew the joys of childbirth, the joys of camping, the joys of adoption and the horrors of child loss. The destruction that could have affected our marriage, yet made it even stronger.
We are so different, and our choices are different but our hearts are as one. We love. We argue. We carry on. We still love. Even when our thoughts differ, we agree that we are just different that way. We are not like others, we do not have our lives mapped out. We go one day at a time. We are laughed at by some and a wonder to others, but we are together and we will go on!
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one other that I have ever loved so deeply and with such devotion, and yet I spend less time with him than I do my own husband. My heavenly Father.
I know where He lives, I know where He is, I know where I am going. I will one day, leave this earthly realm and sore across the heavens to live with my Saviour. To meet family that have gone before me. To see Ian again. To be whole and pain free. Never to cry again. EVER.
I know that my love for Jesus is all compassing. It's ever enduring. I know that I fail to show it on many occassions. I know that I fail Him constantly. I know that He will love me forever and ever amen! I know that He is the reason I am. I know that He is the reason I breathe. I know that His love for me is total, unconditional and free. I did nothing to earn it but it's mine. Jesus died for my sins eons before I was even born. Yet God knew that one day I would be born, and would have a mom and dad, sisters and marry and have children of my own...all along. He knew that Jesus was put on that cross for me. I did not deserve it, I still don't, yet there it is. He took nails that were meant for me. What other love could ever do that? What love could compare? None.
I am a very loving, big hearted, over trusting, never (well almost) faltering, piece of work that God's own hand created. What more can I ask for?!
That He will continue allowing me to have do-overs each day, to continue telling others about Him and His love, and to allow me many more years with my family if that is His will.
My prayer:
"Father God, I come to You tonight, with an open heart and an open mind, to thank You for loving me. To thank You for not allowing others to judge me, knowing that only You will be my judge. I can awaken each morning, knowing that whatever happens, You will be with me, ready to lift me up or carry me if need be. I raise from my bed, knowing that my pain will one day be for Your works. That what You teach me or lead me through, makes me stronger and more able to carry out Your plans for my life. I know that even when I do not seem to hear You, You are there. I need to know you are there. I love knowing you are there. I desire to be in Your service, doing what You would have me to do.
I lift up my pains to You, Lord God. I lift them up and know that one day when I walk those golden streets, I will feel this bodies failures no longer. I lift up my heart to You, seeking to love You more as I come to know You more. Each day that I spend my time with you, seems to draw me even closer.
Father, I lift my husband up to You. I pray that he will see You as the Creator of all things, good, bad and amazing. I pray that he will know how much he is loved by his wife, and most of all, by You Lord. That he would learn the freedom of speaking to You from his heart, openly and with a desire to hear You respond. I pray that he come to know how much he is appreciated for the things he has had to endure on my behalf. I pray that he understand that without him, I would not want to be here. I pray that he know that I am aware of all of his sacrifices and things he has not been able to do to make things work. I pray for his love to continue until we meet You.
I lift up my family to You Father. I lift up their joys, their pains, their fears, their brokeness, their struggles and their concerns. Father, I pray that you will comfort the ones that need comfort, heal the ones that are hurting, and speak to the ones that seem to have fallen by the wayside. Father, you know the ones I have heavy on my heart tonight, I pray that you touch them in some way to know that You are their Creator, their very own LOVE STORY. I pray that others will find You and that they will light the way for more to join Your family for the growth of Your Kingdom.
I pray for our government. I lift up those who are in charge of our nation, our country and our defense. I lift up those who have walked away from You and are trying to do things their own way. I lift up our soldiers, Father God, that you will place Your arms around them all and send them all home to their families and their loved ones. I lift them up for making sacrifices for our freedom. I lift them up for fighting for my right to pray, to serve and to share.
I pray that our country does not become a place where we have to hide our love for You. I pray that my children and their children will see You and the love You have for them too.
I lift up my friends Lord, that they know how much You love them, that You are showing mercy, grace and true love to them and that they can see it. That they can feel it.
I pray that others see that You are THE Love Story.
In your most precious son's name,
Amen."
I am grateful for all of the LOVE STORIES in my life;
My mom and dad,
My sisters,
My husband,
My children,
My brother in laws,
My neices and nephews,
and my friends.
Thank you for all being a part of my love story!
Two actually!
The first is the story of a young stockboy at a local retail store that chose me over any others. Me, older, with a young child of my own. Struggling to pay bills, working 3 jobs to finish my college class.
Me, crazy, mixed up and lost...ME.
He chose me...Why? Did he know that we would endure hardships beyond belief? Did he know that he would have to support me through trial after trial? Did he know that we would be tested to the end of the lines that held our anchor? No, but he chose me anyway. Now, as we approach 22 years together, I am able to see that it was not what we chose, or thought, or had in mind. It was all in God's plan for each of us. I used to wonder if I'd married the right man. I wondered if I just wanted to get married and he was in the right place at the right time. I still sometimes have self doubting moments when satan tries to confuse me and I briefly allow the doubt to creep back in. Then, I remember that if it were not meant to be, we would not be. We would not have the relationship that we do.
As we get closer to the 22 yr mark, I look at the past years and pray that we have many more. That God chose the PERFECT mate for me. God's plans already knew what we would endure, what pains, and sacrifices, and losses we would suffer. He knew the joys of childbirth, the joys of camping, the joys of adoption and the horrors of child loss. The destruction that could have affected our marriage, yet made it even stronger.
We are so different, and our choices are different but our hearts are as one. We love. We argue. We carry on. We still love. Even when our thoughts differ, we agree that we are just different that way. We are not like others, we do not have our lives mapped out. We go one day at a time. We are laughed at by some and a wonder to others, but we are together and we will go on!
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one other that I have ever loved so deeply and with such devotion, and yet I spend less time with him than I do my own husband. My heavenly Father.
I know where He lives, I know where He is, I know where I am going. I will one day, leave this earthly realm and sore across the heavens to live with my Saviour. To meet family that have gone before me. To see Ian again. To be whole and pain free. Never to cry again. EVER.
I know that my love for Jesus is all compassing. It's ever enduring. I know that I fail to show it on many occassions. I know that I fail Him constantly. I know that He will love me forever and ever amen! I know that He is the reason I am. I know that He is the reason I breathe. I know that His love for me is total, unconditional and free. I did nothing to earn it but it's mine. Jesus died for my sins eons before I was even born. Yet God knew that one day I would be born, and would have a mom and dad, sisters and marry and have children of my own...all along. He knew that Jesus was put on that cross for me. I did not deserve it, I still don't, yet there it is. He took nails that were meant for me. What other love could ever do that? What love could compare? None.
I am a very loving, big hearted, over trusting, never (well almost) faltering, piece of work that God's own hand created. What more can I ask for?!
That He will continue allowing me to have do-overs each day, to continue telling others about Him and His love, and to allow me many more years with my family if that is His will.
My prayer:
"Father God, I come to You tonight, with an open heart and an open mind, to thank You for loving me. To thank You for not allowing others to judge me, knowing that only You will be my judge. I can awaken each morning, knowing that whatever happens, You will be with me, ready to lift me up or carry me if need be. I raise from my bed, knowing that my pain will one day be for Your works. That what You teach me or lead me through, makes me stronger and more able to carry out Your plans for my life. I know that even when I do not seem to hear You, You are there. I need to know you are there. I love knowing you are there. I desire to be in Your service, doing what You would have me to do.
I lift up my pains to You, Lord God. I lift them up and know that one day when I walk those golden streets, I will feel this bodies failures no longer. I lift up my heart to You, seeking to love You more as I come to know You more. Each day that I spend my time with you, seems to draw me even closer.
Father, I lift my husband up to You. I pray that he will see You as the Creator of all things, good, bad and amazing. I pray that he will know how much he is loved by his wife, and most of all, by You Lord. That he would learn the freedom of speaking to You from his heart, openly and with a desire to hear You respond. I pray that he come to know how much he is appreciated for the things he has had to endure on my behalf. I pray that he understand that without him, I would not want to be here. I pray that he know that I am aware of all of his sacrifices and things he has not been able to do to make things work. I pray for his love to continue until we meet You.
I lift up my family to You Father. I lift up their joys, their pains, their fears, their brokeness, their struggles and their concerns. Father, I pray that you will comfort the ones that need comfort, heal the ones that are hurting, and speak to the ones that seem to have fallen by the wayside. Father, you know the ones I have heavy on my heart tonight, I pray that you touch them in some way to know that You are their Creator, their very own LOVE STORY. I pray that others will find You and that they will light the way for more to join Your family for the growth of Your Kingdom.
I pray for our government. I lift up those who are in charge of our nation, our country and our defense. I lift up those who have walked away from You and are trying to do things their own way. I lift up our soldiers, Father God, that you will place Your arms around them all and send them all home to their families and their loved ones. I lift them up for making sacrifices for our freedom. I lift them up for fighting for my right to pray, to serve and to share.
I pray that our country does not become a place where we have to hide our love for You. I pray that my children and their children will see You and the love You have for them too.
I lift up my friends Lord, that they know how much You love them, that You are showing mercy, grace and true love to them and that they can see it. That they can feel it.
I pray that others see that You are THE Love Story.
In your most precious son's name,
Amen."
I am grateful for all of the LOVE STORIES in my life;
My mom and dad,
My sisters,
My husband,
My children,
My brother in laws,
My neices and nephews,
and my friends.
Thank you for all being a part of my love story!
