Today a special young lady came over and helped me with Kaylee as well as helping me in the house. She also brought a casserole for dinner. (Bless her) She asked if I'd heard a new song by Natalie Grant and I told her I had not so she brought her cd in and we listened. The song is called "Held" and it comes from the "Awaken" cd. It is a beautiful song about how God wants us to know intimately how it feels when He holds us. This song spoke to me more than I thought it would. It starts out telling about a mother that loses her baby at a very young age and simply put, He implores her to let Him hold her during her sorrow and grief just like He would any other time.

I really believe God was speaking to me through this song because I heard something I needed to hear in words.

God was telling me, "Colleen, you need to let go and let me carry you and your burdens. I want you to relax and let me deal with your pain, your sorrow, your grief along with your joys and good things. Give me the chance to do this that you have withheld from me for so long. I want to do it. It is what I do for my children." "I love you and I hurt when you hurt, I cry when you cry and I laugh when you laugh. I do not hear much laughter from you. Let me hold you now. Let me rap my arms around you and give you peace. I want to do this for you."

I am listening to the song and I realized that I was so concerned with my problems that I was ashamed to give them to God because there are so many out there with worse situations than me. I felt that I should be able to deal with my problems on my own and not trouble God. I realized that I was wallowing in self pity. Now, I'm not sure that I will just jump right back to being my old self because I am simply to exhausted to care right now. I do know that I will try harder to "LET GO AND LET GOD"! (I WILL TRY)

I am tired of doing it my way on my own. I want His help, His love, His arms. I want to be "HELD"!

Thank you, my Rosie friend!