Tuesday, September 06, 2005
IS HE 12 TODAY?.....or is he still 7?
Today is the day we would normally be celebrating my son's 12th birthday. But that is not to be. Ian Kyndale Cooper moved almost 5 years ago to his permanent home with Jesus Christ. Each year on his birthday, I go to the cemetary and place roses out for him. This year was a little easier than the previous. I was already going to the cemetary to see one of my friends bury his 18 year old daughter, Kasey. After her funeral, Kendra and I went to the florist and I was greeted with a bright smile. It was weird, because I thought, how out of place, a smile. This was not a day for smiles. It is a day for tears. Tears for those that have gone before us, those that will be leaving soon, and those that will be forever in our hearts and minds that we have buried much earlier than ever expected. At the cemetary, we removed the flowers that have been in the vase (not real ones), I will clean them and use them again later. I sat down under the tree and started cleaning up the long stem red roses to replace them. I always buy 1 short of the number of years so that the last one is a different color. 11 red and 1 white. Amanda (one of my other "daughters" and one of Ian's big sisters, helped me finish up and then Kendra and I sat there on the bench under the tree that branches out over Ian's grave. It is a cedar. I am not really sure, but someone once told me that cedar trees were once considered a sacred tree. (Not sure who or where this might have been either!) To me, it is a special tree because it keeps shade all year round over Ian's earthly resting place. Ian loved trees and whenever we could not find him, that is where he would be, with whichever cousin or friend was over at the time. I still look up in "his" tree to see if he might be sitting there! Almost 5 years and still it sometimes seems like just yesterday, he was giving me the most wonderful hugs and telling me he loved me "to infinity and beyond"! Wow! My heart still has a giant hole that I am sometimes not sure that even God can fill. I have so many wonderful memories , I will share them later. I guess I kinda got away from the actual reason I was writing this post. What do you think about age at the time someone passes away. Do you think they will forever remain the age at the time or will they beome an adult, or will they grow older? I know that we will have "heavenly bodies" and that they will be free of all sickness and disease, but is there a common age that everyone will be when we die? Let me know what you think.
It is hard when a child passes away before the parents. Any time really. It is just plain hard. I for one, am usually wanting to talk about Ian, whereas my DH is still not really comfortable talking about him. I guess this postcould be considered a pitty party for myself so I would feel better. Either way, I think I do.
Ian, this is for you, my beautiful, precious son, I will love and miss you
"To Infinity and Beyond"!
Keep singin' and dancin' in Heaven, till I join you.
I love you so much,
I miss your gentle touch,
I long to see your face,
When I have finished my earthly race.
You are never far away,
I talk to you every day,
I keep your pictures on the wall,
Always on God's name I call.
Some day not to long from now,
I'll ne'er again have crease'd brow,
I long to see your big brown eyes,
To stop the sorrowed nightly cries.
When stars are shining in the nighttime sky,
I still look up, not asking why,
Just letting God know that I'm alright,
Until I take my heavenly flight.
He sends me signs of your sweet love,
When He shoots a star up high above,
I know that He has smiled at me,
As I stand there, under Ian's tree.
(Copywrite Colleen Cooper 9-6-2005)
You are brave to post about Ian. I know that he is your greatest joy and greatest sorrow all wrapped up together in a beautiful smile. But he does not share your sorrow. And Evan, or my two other unnamed babies, do not share my sorrow either. And someday, some sweet day, we will share the vastness of their complete joy.
I was just thinking that maybe sometime if you'd like to, we could take the kids somewhere together. I think Kaylee and Jackson would have a blast together!? Let me know.
Thank you for sharing your story. And I'm sorry for your loss.
What a great blog, LOVED it.......
I dont really know, but i think he stayed the same age???
I def agree with Jenny, the dimension is just too much our human mind and he is in another fellowship ,a alot deeper, a lot better with JESUS.......praising, dancin, laughin, prayin, tellin each other jokes.....
THANKS for sharing, your thoughts, feelings on something so personal.
GOD keep blessin u, filinf u with his PEACE, his STRENGH....
1)What would live be like if he was still alive and what things wouldn't have started happening that did?
(Still no answer, wont get one until I can ask God Himself)
2) Did he go to heaven? and What age is a child repsonsible for accepting Christ? and Will he always be eight?
(To which the answers are, as I believe to be truth, Yes he is in heaven because he accept Christ as his Savor. still no answer really but I beleive that God knows if a child really comprhends that they need to ask Him into their heart, and if they dont undersatnd they go to heaven. I believe that he has the heavenly body God gave him but I believe that he will always be 8.
I Love You,
P.S. We should talk about this when I bring you the boxes!
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I am a prayer warrior. I am the wife of ONE TERRIFIC MAN, the mother of 3 beautiful children, 2 daughters here on earth and one son who lives with Jesus. I am here to help and to serve any way I can. I WANT TO LIVE, LAUGH AND LOVE LIKE I WAS DYING!!
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