This tiny decorative box is only 22' X 9' on the inside.


As adults, funerals become part of every day life. We, on average will attend about 5-10 per year. Normally, it is the passing of an elderly person we love or that we know from church or the community. I have been to my share of them and still manage to make a blubbering fool of myself anyway. It is however, an unthinkable tragedy when we have to bury a baby or a young child. Today we buried my daughters best friends' son, Lawrence. 10 weeks and 4 days old, he became another in the long list of victims to succomb to SIDS. It was a very solemn event and one I do not wish to repeat again in my lifetime. It is hard to watch a loved one be confined in a decorative yet final resting place, especially a child. Lawrence was a beautiful little boy and I told anyone I saw with him that he was probably the prettiest baby I had ever seen (excluding my son of course). I realize that he is now singing with angels and being held by Jesus but it does not lesson the pain of seperation. This I know too well. As I sat and listened to the service and the music that was selected, it came to my mind that this is where we all will be eventually. I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of dying and not finishing the task God created me for. It was this realization that made me start to think of things that I know God as told me and even asked me to do for Him. I have been like Jonah. Afraid! Afraid to move forward. I am not afraid of death but I am afraid of rejection. I believe this may be a part of all of us deep down. As I sat there, I began to think about my life and those of my friends and family who do not have a relationship with Christ. What have I not done to plant the seeds of salvation? Have I missed opportunity after opportunity to share with them His love? How many opportunities will they have? Is it too late? I will hope and pray that it is not.
I also began to think of 5 years ago when we watched as our sons 7 year young life was being celebrated and then 3 years later the 2 year young life of the son of one of my dearest friends. I know that God, in His infinite wisdom, having already planned our lives long before we are even born, has the answers. We have only questions. Why? Why? Why?!!
As I sit here now, thinking of scripture that would relate to this post, I am dumbfounded by the many verses that have meaning along these lines. God has left us love letters to help us through these tragic times. He has given us guidelines to keep going and keep living, knowing that we will one day see our loved ones again.
This brings to mind another all encompassing question that has racked my brain many millions of times in the last 5 years! If I struggle daily to keep moving forward and I am strong in my faith, how does someone who has no faith continue to draw breath. I can recall many times early on when I wanted to stop breathing, stop being, to just stop. But my faith and my God were stronger than I was and He carried me a long way before I was able to walk alone again. How do those without faith carry on? It breaks my heart to not have the assurance that Catrina and members of her family may or may not be believers. Should I have just jumped in and asked? Is that too personal a question? I think yes to the first and I don't believe I care to the second one. Did I do it? No! I am ashamed to say that I did not. I will though.
I am praying that having the experience that I do, that God is leading me up a path of counsel. I have talked about it to several people and it seems that in the past few weeks, He has given me the strength to help out in tragic circumstances. I am not sure where He is leading me with this but I am praying that it will become evident.
It is now my thinking that LIFE should be lived fully, for Him, as a JOYFUL JOURNEY TO HEAVEN.
I am knowledgeable about many things but I am CERTAIN of one, I will go to heaven to live with Christ Jesus one day!
I would share this prayer;

Father God, thank you for the family you have given me. Thank you for the time that I have been allowed to share with them. Thank you for promising me that my son is living with you already. Thank you for promising me that if I came to know your son, I would live eternally with you in your kingdom. Father, I ask you to place your love around Catrina and her family and that you would give them comfort like no other they have ever known. I pray that you would lift their hearts and open their eyes to see you in the favors you have given them. I thank you for the 10 weeks that Catrina had with her son. I ask that you watch over Kendra as the stress of the situation begins to settle in her heart and that you will not allow it to let her back into the dark place she has lived for so long. Father God, give them comfort, peace and joy in a time when it is needed most. Father, I pray that you will guide me to the place you want me to be and show me where I am to be used to further your kingdom. Father, I ask that you continue to grant me favor in health, and spirit. Father thank you for my friends. Thank you for sending wonderful people my way Lord, ones that you have shown me to be prayer warriors and steadfast friends. Father God, all of these things I ask in the precious name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen